The Silent Prayers.

The best advice I ever received related to my thinking and approach now, when it comes to serving, came from a single mom of teenagers, who worked full-time, and had her own set of demons to manage.  

We were at a women's event at church. People were discussing all the ways they served in the church. Nursery. Children's church. College hour. Service Saturday's. Mission work overseas. Bible School. Mom's night out during the week. Food prep for funerals and weddings.  And I remember sitting there listening to everyone share their good deeds.  And was so impressed with all they did, could do, and were planning to do.  

I remember thinking "how do they do it all?" I had 3 children, 2 within a similar age to each other. Two with special needs not including that one was just adopted from an orphanage.  And yet as I sat there, I felt this heaviness...like I wasn't doing "enough."  

And it haunted me for a long while.  I would think about signing up for the next big event and then Jerad would be called into work and I'd have to cancel. Or I'd be up with Blake all night before a morning service project --after he had night terrors.  And I would have to back out.

I felt worthless. I couldn't do it all like they seemingly were able.  And although these were lies I was allowing myself to believe...I felt I had nothing to offer.

I loved fitness. Working out.  I was always uncomfortable around large groups of women because I never seemed to relate to a lot of their struggles.  I had my own.  

And one day, while finally releasing this heaviness of not feeling like I was "enough" to this single mama--because I couldn't contribute to the service projects of the community, church, and women's groups...I told her I felt horrible like I should apologize because I had nothing to offer.

And I'll never forget the words she said to me..."ANNA...you are a momma of young kids, ones with special needs, just because you don't make a physical appearance at these community events so your presence can be known and praised...doesn't mean you can't contribute in other ways.  Girl, NEVER, ever EVER discount the power of a written note and a prayer."

She went on to tell me she spent many of her year's looking out for women she felt God laid on her heart, or who she personally witnessed needing a "pick me up" and she would mail them a handwritten note telling them she was thinking of them, and spoke whatever wisdom she had from her heart into their life. She said she had no idea the number of letter's she had written over the year's as her kids were young.  She said, "yeah, nobody saw my presence or even knew of my letter's unless they had received one..." but it made no difference to God.  I was sending written and silent prayers that WERE JUST AS POWERFUL...and gave me a sense of purpose and service.

From that week on, my entire outlook of serving was changed. I spent my time buying up cheap stationary. I walked around with open eyes looking and searching for who desperately wanted attention and need to be noticed. Seeing who might need a lift. Possibly, just a recognition and affirmation of who they are and were...and I would put my pen to paper.

Now my handwritten notes have since turned more into messages on facebook or email's...simple snaps on snapchat...or an IG video.  But the concept still remains.  I NOW believe and KNOW the power of the silent prayers and spoken/written words. Other's may not know, but that's ok. The people who do know, were supposed too know.  

And for that, I feel I have a purpose. My gifts are "enough." And I am serving in this stage of life as I can, with my kids situations, and needs...God has given me a outlet--AND for that I'm thankful. <3

Eliminating that C-Section Pooch

I spoke about this topics last summer, but as bikini season has drifted upon us again, I find myself answer this question a lot!

Today's topic will be on eliminating a C-Section Pooch.

My online client's and I have been focusing on ab workouts this week. Specifically those who have struggled with post C-Section pooches, shelves, pouches, and flab. Ha! 

(I've heard it called all of those things.)

But I wanted to share the basic steps I go through when working with someone who struggles with this issue.

So here are some basic moves and a quick little tip how to engage the lower pelvis more effectively..
You will need a ball, and a small mini-band. I purchased mine from www.power-systems.com

Make sure to have a mat or soft cushion for under your tush.  Start out slowly only completing a 5-8 reps of each movement before resting.

If you feel it in your lower back or neck, find a small support to place under your upper back..such as leaning against a couch or chair to support your neck. Also make sure not to clench your jaw and focus on deep breaths through your ribs and down your back. Fill the diaphragm with air....in and out.

And here are some self-massage techniques to diminish the scar tissue around the incision that would be causing this extra pooch.  I used my kiddo's playground ball. Just steal it while they are napping or doing other things. ha! Otherwise, my son thinks its time to play catch and tackle football.  This massage position is not a good one to be tackled in!  Those of you with boys, understand.


I would recommend completing the exercises in the first video 2-3 times a week.

And the gut smashing/massage techniques several times a day if you wish or have time.






To learn more about being a part of my online community of mom's working on their mindset and their fitness, enter your email below.

YES! I want to learn more about sheSTRENGTH!

Name:

Facebook URL or Email Address:

We respect your email privacy

Powered by AWeber Email Marketing

To The Mom who Yells...

All mom's yell, I don't care how well you parent.

At any given point in the day, the crumbs on the floor...the pee all over the bathroom wall...the arguing...the talking back...the tantrums at the dinner table over tater tots....
BECOME the tipping point of our day.  And everything from the last day.  The last week. Possibly even the past 6 months comes to a boiling point and needs escape.
And we yell.

Maybe we yell really loud.  Maybe we even scream.

It may not even be directly related to the incident at hand or the child involved...but it is there and it needs to escape.

We feel undervalued.

We are out of patience.

We have our own agenda in mind that isn't being achieved.

We are in a hurry.

We are resentful.

We can't put to words why we feel like we do.

I am one of them.
But here is where I am at in this journey of motherhood...

1) Rest.  Sleep.  We as mom's need it.  Yesterday I had a HUGE mess of laundry and dirt and dishes and my kids were still at school for another hour. I was so tired, BUT I could see the mess around me knowing it needed addressed.  But I closed my eyes and sat down and rested for an hour.  I slept. I woke up feeling better.  And had a better evening. If I hadn't, I would be so tired by supper that every little thing, like spilling a drink on the floor, would send me over the edge.  And I would YELL...and be met with tearful eyes and perplexed looks over my extreme anger over such a normal childhood mishap.

2) Don't let the disrespect or tantrums escalate you to anger.
I quit giving warnings. I quit counting to 3.  I quit giving meaningless threats.  Here's 1 thing I have learned, especially with kids like mine with special needs and attention...address the ISSUE right away.  Kids are typically wanting boundaries, they are seeking it through their actions.  So nip it in the butt right away BEFORE they continue to escalate in their behavior and YOUR TEMPER seeming rises to a boiling point and you REACT. (and yell)

3) Stop Multi-Tasking.
WHOA. This one is a hard one for me. I used to try to do the dishes, do the laundry, prepare supper and try to help my kids with spelling words or learn how to do new tricks ALL at the same time.  And when I'd burn the food, break a dish, and my kid was in tears because I wasn't watching their new trick..I would YELL.  So now I give them attention first, hear them out, give them my FULL focus...and send them on their way FULFILLED.  

4) Don't push an agenda.  
Part of my angry yelling was from REACTING.  REACTING to my frustration with not getting my way.  I had set it in my mind I was working out at 6:00 am and my youngest would get up at 5:30 am and want to watch cartoons, have a drink, and was hungry...AHHH!  I NEEDED my time. I DESERVED my workout time. And I would obsess about it until I got it done. AND sometimes I would take my anger over not getting my workout in ON her. And YELL.

5) Lower your expectations.
This may sound terrible. But I had to lower my expectations of my kids behavior and realize things weren't going to go as planned...MOST of the TIME.  Like when we went to the movies, and I took my son's ear plugs because he hates loud noises.  We got into the movie, we had our popcorn, kids were all settled and the movie started....AND my son jumped in my lap, through his ear plugs down on the floor, grabbed my neck and began crying. OUT loud.  And would NOT stop.  And I got mad. WHY?? This was supposed to be a fun family event together, watching a good warm, fuzzy movie. And he was ruining it.  And I wanted to YELL.  And probably would have, had we not been in a movie theatre.  I had to get over myself, recognize his needs, and realize this was the struggle we were going to have...and it would be FINE.

6) Just say no.

Another reason I would YELL.  Because I would give of myself 100% to everyone, all day. Being everything, to everyone.  Meeting everyone's emotional needs.  Answering every text, message, and phone call with patience and empathy.  I would let people walk all over me and it would be okay.  And I would say yes to every ball practice, every play practice, every after school activity, every church event, every fundraiser because I wanted to be a good mom.  AND it only made me a bad mom.  It would be 6 pm and my patience and will-power and control would be GONE.  I did not leave any in the tank for anyone else.  The "else" being the most important people in my life.  And I would YELL at every little thing.  So now I run on a reserve tank.  I set boundaries. I say no. And I value my patience and time for my kids.

7) I make sure I get time for my stress reliever as often as I can.
I lift heavy weights. Throw around bars. Learn new skills. And improve my fitness.  It's how I relieve my stress.  It has helped me through many tough times.  And still continues to today. We invested in a home gym so I can visit my stress reliever more easily...AND I can teach my kids the importance of relieving stress in a healthy way as well.

8) You are the mom, trust your gut. AND surround yourself with people who can help you BUT also know your true colors AND the environment and situation with your kids. Don't believe everything you read.
This one has so many levels, for me especially. And it may make some people mad...but here it goes.  I used to read James Dobson, I read Baby Wise. I read SO many strong-willed, discipline your child, this is how you do it books. AND I would get SO mad.  SO mad.  My child did NOT respond to these methods. These Godly, Biblical-lead methods that I was being preached as the only way.  And they did NOT work.  I prayed over my child. I disciplined her. I read her Scripture.  I saw how it worked for other mom's AND I would get SOOO mad.  I would YELL. Why didn't this method of doing it God's way work for me?!  It was supposed too. It was Biblical.  And yet, it only made my situation with my child worse.  And I realized my child was different.  BUT it took me accepting it first.  Then, it took me letting go of all I was taught as being the norm and working, and realizing I had to forge my own way.  I had to do what I felt was best for my child.  And work with her, and help her in a non-typical way.  And all then, only, then...was I able to release some anger and frustration at myself, my inabilities, and my "less-than" mentality I had imposed on myself for not being able to raise my child like I was being told was the "way."  And my anger subsided, my frustrations with her seemingly inability to follow the rules...my pride for feeling disrespected constantly by her actions and tendencies...her lack of seeing the black and white rules all kids were "supposed" to follow...AND KNOW deep down, she was different, and therefore needed handled different.  And I didn't have to be mad anymore, mad it didn't work, mad I wasn't good enough, and join her in the struggle and work with her through it...in a loving way. With empathy and understanding.  And I was able to stop YELLING.

9) Let your kids in your life.
I used to get so angry when they would try to help me. Or get in the way. Or beg to help me with a task I was already struggling with.  "Man! Just get out of my way so I can get this food cooked..." Or "leave me alone so I can get my workout done! UGH, LEAVE me alone!"  "No you will make a huge mess, you can't do this with me..."  When I slowed DOWN, for one.  When I stepped back and realized they weren't trying to purposely annoy me. Or get in my way.  When I took my own "needs" out of the picture for awhile, and realized they wanted to just be with "me" or do what "I'm doing"..the anger turned to compassion.  For some reason, it never crossed my mind they actually might want to spend time with me or learn from me....FOR a very long time.  I would watch my husband be so patient and giving of his time and talent.  Or my in-laws or parents let them make messes and I could see how much fun my kids would have with that...and realized they weren't actually trying to ruin my life...haha, they wanted to be a part of it.  I would stop YELLING so much.

10) Communicate better. 
I would get so mad when I'd yell out 2-3 directions or chores or things I wanted completed when I'd get home from work or class...and I'd return home to find NOTHING done.  Or it was only half-done or done completely wrong.  And I would YELL.  And I'd be SO mad at the disrespect. The carelessness.  And never feeling like I was being heard. Man, worst feeling ever to be white noise in a house full of people you'd give your life for.  And here's what I learned...my kids were not understanding my 3 yelled statements of chores.  I was not communicating exactly what I wanted in a way they could process.  Especially my oldest with sensory processing issues, my son who can't hear, and my baby. (ha! makes me laugh now looking back at my disgust in my kids and their lack of doing chores, when I now know their short-comings)  So now I write my list down of chores for the week. Each day has an assignment...they know ahead of time the expectation for the week...and NO more of me throwing a chore in at the last minute, demanding them to do it as extra because I am mad....and then getting mad when its not done when I return home.  It has to be clearly communicated for them to understand and complete...that's on ME. Not them.  They DO love me, they just don't understand what I want.

Autum's Banana Snack

So when I posted a few weeks ago about what questions people had about fitness, nutrition, etc...one of the questions was snack ideas!  So Autum and I made one of her favorite hot-weather snacks yesterday!  She wanted to share it with you all!

Frozen Banana Bites

You will need: 
1 large banana--can also use other fruits like grapes, strawberries or blueberries
1 cup of greek yogurt--she prefers toasted coconut or banana cream flavor
parchment paper
a plate
knife
spoon

How to Make Them:
1)  Peel and Cut the banana's in slices. (1/4" thick)
2) Dip each banana slice into the yogurt, covering all sides of the banana.
3) Place the yogurt-covered bananas on the parchment paper.
4) After covering all the bananas, place in the freezer for 30-60 minutes until frozen hard.
5) Go play outside and get really sweaty and HOT!
6) Come back inside. Wash your hands. And eat your banana bites to cool off!

And after trying these banana treats, check out Autum and I's fitness routine we made together....it has great ideas for you and your kiddo's!

To find out how I incorporate these crazy kiddo's schedule into my fitness routine and making myself a priority each day, sign up to receive my FREE 4-Week Strength Training Template to do at home! I will send you daily tips, tricks, and workouts to complete in a short amount of time, in a small space, and with kids running around.

Sign up below:

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Powered by AWeber Email Marketing

 YES! Please send me 4-Week's of Daily Workouts to Teach me How to Strength Train Safely and Effectively at Home in under 15 minutes a Day!!!