Seriously like nothing I've seen before...it had all these straps wrapped around the middle, so was kind of a two-piece, but wasn't. It was dark green and it fit her perfect. It hugged all the right places and revealed her curves tastefully. I thought to myself, I LOVE that suit. She looks so great! I am SO curious where she got it because I've never seen a style like that before...
I went back to my laps and didn't think about it much more. I went to the locker room and ran into this girl again. I waited until we were ready to leave and I stopped her and asked where she got her swimming suit because it was SO beautiful. She stopped for a minute...stared at me, eyes open wide. And then her face softened. She took a breath and said, "well...actually, oh my gosh. Okay, I just have to tell you this...I saw you staring at me in the hot tub and just knew you were "looking at another fat girl thinking why'd she let herself go so bad...??" I figured you were another one of those fit girls who judge women like me...and I AM SO SORRY. I put words in your mouth and assumed thoughts in your head...you REALLY do LOVE my swimming suit?? It's new. I ordered it online from Land's End. I just got it and thought it was so beautiful and couldn't wait to wear it!!"
And we chatted some more after for a while and went our separate ways. But I left feeling a bittersweet heap of emotions. I hate that she feels women like "me" are assumed judgmental. And I hate that she felt that way about herself. And it also saddened me to know that this must be real for some "fit girls" because she so quickly applied those thoughts to her assumed truth. UGH. But I also felt a twinge of happiness because she and I were able to talk it out, I was able to show her I genuinely did care and she was able to show me the truth of what she deals with daily. And we left on a good note.
I don't like being assumed as judgmental.
I don't like being assumed as taking steroids.
I don't like being judged for my appearance.
I don't like people making me feel bad for my lifestyle.
I don't like people making me feel bad for choosing healthy meals for my kids.
I don't like it.
But it's real. Fit shaming is just as bad as fat-shaming. I have been told people won't work with me as a trainer because I'm intimidating. Or because they don't want to look bulky like me. I have been made fun of in the work lunchroom because of my choice of carrots and fruit for a sack lunch item. I have been teased about "never letting my kids eat real junk food" like all of us other parents. And it hurts.
Why its okay to make fun of and judge people who are assumed fit by their looks, or lifestyle....and absolutely ABSURD to make statements like that to unhealthy or less fit people is beyond me?!
We may have hard shells on the outside and appear tough confident and unstoppable...but inside we are all made up of the same material. Insecurity, doubt, fear, anxiety, and discouragement....YET secretly hoping for connection and validation.
YES. All of us.
Even me...the hard core weight lifter with muscles, who DOES NOT take Anavar or hGh...FYI. (mister FB stalking guy from Germany who called me a false hope for women because there's no way I could look like I do without assistance from illegal drugs)....
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