Hear Me ROAR!

150# snatch in September 2014.  I had this goal of 150# in my head for several years.  And I hit it. THIS day.  And this day was the very first day anyone who worked out with me, ever heard me ROAR.  I couldn't help myself. It just came out. The hard work, the sweat, the dreams, the goals, the hours...ALL came out in this one lift.  And this picture is still one of my favorites.  It captures the essence of this emotion ALL at once.

You see, I have this fear of celebrating myself.
Of recognizing my personal achievements.
Of giving myself credit.
Of shouting out my worth and value.

It's like I feel if I say something about myself that is good, its bragging.

If I holler and shout after a made-lift or new skill achieved after so many hours of working at it, it's going to hurt someone else's feelings or make them feel less worthy.

I have a huge issue with ego's and the last thing I want to be categorized by is celebrating myself too excessively.

I am not sure where this issue stems from, part of it is my HUGE desire for every person to see their own worth and value and not base it on mine. Or compare themselves to me.

Part of it is being in this fitness industry so long, and seeing so many people focused on themselves and "me-first" attitude I think I go the opposite direction as fast as I can to avoid being a part of that movement.

I don't like using my body to sell my fitness lifestyle because while I know I work hard, its not my end goal.

AND you know what?!
I think there are 1000's of women out there like me.

I know it.
The women who put themselves behind every camera and not in front of it.  Noted by their Facebook profile picture of a flower or a child, and no recollection of a picture of themselves in 5 year's of being on social media.

The woman who can't accept a compliment and defers it or talks it down, maybe even argues it.  Even though, it feels good inside for a fleeting second, we don't allow ourselves the fulfillment of a compliment.

Or they ask me to not post their pictures or share their stories with their names attached because it will draw attention to them.

Or we use the language of "not ready yet" or "not good enough yet..or "when I get there"...

But let me telling you something...
There is this uninhibited emotion that you can hardly suppress after a few months of lifting weights.  It's this inner WOMAN voice and emotion that finally comes out.  It builds for so long within you and you can't help but YELL out when the time comes.  I KNOW every woman has this inner desire to be a badass.  This feeling within that they are AMAZING and what they DO is AMAZING.  IT's just finding the supportive environment, the right program and progress, and the consistency of staying with it. It's the combination of hours of work, relentless pursuit, and finally the ACCEPTANCE of our VALUED, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, WORTHY, PURPOSEFUL, ACCEPTED, AND EMPOWERED self.

And this is when a woman finds her ROAR. And THEN, THEN, there is no stopping her.