I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about not needing to explain everything. How I don't anyone who isn't near and dear to me a explanation for a LOT of things...but what I am also realizing is people have NO clue the life we live either.
And I don't mean in some weird, creepy sort of way. But in a real life way...
The dynamic of our home is a LOT different than most. Here's how.
1) Our son has Down Syndrome.
2) My oldest is on the Autism Spectrum and deals with high anxiety and behavior disorders.
3) My son spent his first 2 years in an orphanage in another country, so we deal daily with shame, abandonment, and fear.
4) We are adoptive parents.
5) I am an entrepreneur.
6) I don't like large crowds. And always feel awkward around people.
7) We have moved 4 times in the past 7 years.
8) My only hobby, interest, and enjoyment for myself is working out.
9) I am a home-body.
10) I am exhausted most days.
11) I go to bed early, get up early.
12) I don't have many friends, I am actually pretty introverted. And most of my friends don't understand the life I live.
13) I feel most confident and pretty with a barbell in my hands.
14) I exhaust myself on those around me, I am VERY loyal.
15) My heart breaks for orphans, especially those with special needs.
16) I could adopt every child if I could.
17) I never wanted to be a mom.
18) My kids HAVE a to be on a very strict schedule.
19) I have held my kids down doing joint compressions to help them calm down before bed many a night, with tears running down my face.
20) I have had to create "safe" places in our home for my children with behavioral issues to go so they don't hurt themselves or others. 21) We can't go anywhere late at night because my 2 children with special needs will be up late, completely overwhelmed and overstimulated by the noise, out of routine, and people...and will stem all night long.
22) I have the constant worry about my son running away in the middle of the night, because he wanders away constantly.
23) I have to open my van door and immediately slam my leg in front of my son's car door when we get out to go somewhere, because he has jumped out in front of traffic too many times.
24) I can't talk to my oldest about typical "girl pre-teen stuff" because she doesn't understand or have the filter for what's repeatable or appropriate to bring up in discussion elsewhere.
25) I have to spend a lot of time preparing my 2 children with special needs' meals because both are on strict diet's for their behavior's and anxiety.
26) We go to every therapist there is for every issue there is. Physical, emotional, behavioral, occupational, speech, mental...
27) I am really strong and physically fit because it is ALL I have...it is the only safe place for me to let all of the stress and emotions I swallow daily, OUT.
So what you see on social media is a perfect world of working out, physical fitness, nutrition tips...and a few mom moments sprinkled in...AND that's JUST one small part of who I am and MY world. Here's a glimpse into the rest of my day. So don't assume you know what I deal with. Or don't assume you can't do what I do. Don't believe that everyone else's life is perfect, but yours. It's not. We all have our things. Our issues. Our skeletons in the closet. These are not excuses, but a reminder to give a little more grace, so not be quick to judge, to not assume you know the "type." BUT to LOVE. First and foremost. BEFORE you judge.
I do what I can. With what I have. And put myself, my family, my marriage before all else. And I work, REALLY hard at anything I do. It is all I know. THAT is IT. No more, no less.
And I don't mean in some weird, creepy sort of way. But in a real life way...
The dynamic of our home is a LOT different than most. Here's how.
1) Our son has Down Syndrome.
2) My oldest is on the Autism Spectrum and deals with high anxiety and behavior disorders.
3) My son spent his first 2 years in an orphanage in another country, so we deal daily with shame, abandonment, and fear.
4) We are adoptive parents.
5) I am an entrepreneur.
6) I don't like large crowds. And always feel awkward around people.
7) We have moved 4 times in the past 7 years.
8) My only hobby, interest, and enjoyment for myself is working out.
9) I am a home-body.
10) I am exhausted most days.
11) I go to bed early, get up early.
12) I don't have many friends, I am actually pretty introverted. And most of my friends don't understand the life I live.
13) I feel most confident and pretty with a barbell in my hands.
14) I exhaust myself on those around me, I am VERY loyal.
15) My heart breaks for orphans, especially those with special needs.
16) I could adopt every child if I could.
17) I never wanted to be a mom.
18) My kids HAVE a to be on a very strict schedule.
19) I have held my kids down doing joint compressions to help them calm down before bed many a night, with tears running down my face.
20) I have had to create "safe" places in our home for my children with behavioral issues to go so they don't hurt themselves or others. 21) We can't go anywhere late at night because my 2 children with special needs will be up late, completely overwhelmed and overstimulated by the noise, out of routine, and people...and will stem all night long.
22) I have the constant worry about my son running away in the middle of the night, because he wanders away constantly.
23) I have to open my van door and immediately slam my leg in front of my son's car door when we get out to go somewhere, because he has jumped out in front of traffic too many times.
24) I can't talk to my oldest about typical "girl pre-teen stuff" because she doesn't understand or have the filter for what's repeatable or appropriate to bring up in discussion elsewhere.
25) I have to spend a lot of time preparing my 2 children with special needs' meals because both are on strict diet's for their behavior's and anxiety.
26) We go to every therapist there is for every issue there is. Physical, emotional, behavioral, occupational, speech, mental...
27) I am really strong and physically fit because it is ALL I have...it is the only safe place for me to let all of the stress and emotions I swallow daily, OUT.
So what you see on social media is a perfect world of working out, physical fitness, nutrition tips...and a few mom moments sprinkled in...AND that's JUST one small part of who I am and MY world. Here's a glimpse into the rest of my day. So don't assume you know what I deal with. Or don't assume you can't do what I do. Don't believe that everyone else's life is perfect, but yours. It's not. We all have our things. Our issues. Our skeletons in the closet. These are not excuses, but a reminder to give a little more grace, so not be quick to judge, to not assume you know the "type." BUT to LOVE. First and foremost. BEFORE you judge.
I do what I can. With what I have. And put myself, my family, my marriage before all else. And I work, REALLY hard at anything I do. It is all I know. THAT is IT. No more, no less.
OMG I LOVE this!! You were an inspiration to me before but that has just grown tremendously!! I absolutely adore special needs children and to know that you take on that role as thei mother when everyone else turned their backs on them puts a halo on your head in my eyes!! Who would have guessed you had all of this going on. I mean I know everyone has skeletons and most don't live the life they portray but my goodness!! I to Do not have friends. Not Because of my family But Because of How loyal i am And people Don't seem to have the same loyalty! You are an amazing person Anna!!You are a supermom!! You are a superwoman!! And I commend you for all that you do!!
ReplyDeleteOMG I LOVE this!! You were an inspiration to me before but that has just grown tremendously!! I absolutely adore special needs children and to know that you take on that role as thei mother when everyone else turned their backs on them puts a halo on your head in my eyes!! Who would have guessed you had all of this going on. I mean I know everyone has skeletons and most don't live the life they portray but my goodness!! I to Do not have friends. Not Because of my family But Because of How loyal i am And people Don't seem to have the same loyalty! You are an amazing person Anna!!You are a supermom!! You are a superwoman!! And I commend you for all that you do!!
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